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If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why arent people from Holland called Holes? When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? Why isnt the number 11 pronounced onety one? Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didnt zigzag? Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G? Do people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it? Some inappropriate language... It was the first day of school in Marietta, Georgia, and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Lets begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. "Very good. Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"? Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Suzuki. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." he heard a loud whisper: "Fuck the Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982." At that point, a student in the back said, "Im gonna puke." The teacher glares and asks "All right now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this" Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997" Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, Ill kill you." Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001." The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, were fucked." Suzuki said, "The Taliban 2001". |
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